Curmudgeonalia
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August 8, 2005

Peace Kills

P.J. O’Rourke – ISBN – 0802141986

PJ’s recent books have been disappointing, at least to me. Not since Parliament of Whores and Give War a Chance, has he been entertaining. In this epistle he explores America’s latest adventures in warfare, emphasizing the absurd in the unique manner that is his shtick. And He’s back . . . !
He is as clever and quotable now as in the far too distant past:

“America is not ‘globally conscious’ . . . [since] Americans didn’t come to America to be Limeys, Frog Eaters, . . . Micks, . . . or Wogs. If we wanted foreign entanglements, we would have stayed home.”

“Americans hate foreign policy because Americans hate foreigners.”

“Americans would like to ignore foreign policy. Our previous attempts at isolationism were successful. Unfortunately, they were successful for Hitler’s Germany and Tojo’s Japan.”

“A solitary bad person sitting alone . . . and wishing he ruled the world is not a problem, unless he lives next to us in the trailer park. In the big geopolitical trailer park that is the world today, he does.”

“I hoped that Osama bin Laden was discovering, amid smart bombs and Delta Forces in Afghanistan, that America isn’t scared, America is scary. The members of al Qaeda had gotten dressed up in their holy-warrior costumes and gone trick-or-treating at the wrong house!”

“The fighting in Afghanistan was so brief that CNN Headline News had to delete three bars from its ‘Target: Terror’ score to keep the theme music from outlasting the hostilities.”

“We owe a debt of gratitude to our erstwhile allies. We should understand the white-feathered, clucking German response to the prospect of combat in Iraq—understand it for the good thing it is. Germans have turned into poultry with BMWs. What caused this is a mystery, but a splendid mystery given the behavior of Germany in the last century.”

“And France is a treasure to mankind. French ideas, French beliefs, and French actions form a sort of lodestone for humanity. A moral compass needle needs a butt end. Whatever direction France is pointing—toward collaboration with Nazis, accommodation with communists, existentialism, Jerry Lewis, or UN resolution veto—we can go the other way with a quiet conscience.”

But I don’t want to spoil all of the fun. Read it and enjoy it. If you are unfamiliar with PJ, get familiar. If you haven’t read the tomes mentioned above, read them . . . especially A Parliament of Whores.

Ciao.

Posted by respeto at August 8, 2005 3:51 PM